Coco has been pestering me to let her do a guest post, so I finally gave in. I told her not to get too crazy, so we'll see what she says. Ok, ready? Here we go...Hi, this is Coco. Can you believe they named me Coco? And worse still, they call me all kinds of weird names like Jackal and Dingo. I should have stayed in Mexico. It's a real mess living with these people! They expect SO much from me. I hear them talking about how I never do anything around the house. What's a girl to do? I hardly ever complain, and I take up WAY less room than that creepy Jake who stalks me all day long. All I expect in return is 22 hours of restful sleep a day, peace and quiet (except when I need to bark), gourmet food, a walk with no leash, a squirrel to chase, and a few good back rubs. Oh, and my soaps. I always miss my soaps because they lock me in a cage and leave me alone all day and don't even have the decency to leave the remote control and move the cage into the living room so I can see which dogs are sleeping around on GH!! It's no wonder my hair is falling out all over the place. See? There goes another big clump. Oh well, I'll just leave it there on the couch. They wash me with WATER too! Look at my hair in this picture (Exhibit A). No expensive mousse, styling gel, or shampoo...they used DOG shampoo on me last time. And they made me air dry. I made sure I shook as much water as I could on the bookshelf to anger the big guy though...that made up for it a little. But still...can you believe they haven't replaced my leash in over a year?!?! Gross me out! I am abused, I tell you. The two upright children get to eat at the table while me and creepy Jake have to scrounge for chicken skin and bones down on the cold cold floor. And that crunchy dog food they put in my bowl is terrible. It gives me bad gas, which I promptly share with them. If I feel a really bad one coming on, I'll make sure I go lay on the couch next to them so they can know my pain. And talk about stingy - they won't even let me rummage through the garbage for a snack!! I mean, it's not like they want that stuff - they threw it out! See? They don't seem so nice NOW, do they?
Oh...all this fretting has made me irritable and tired. I need a nap...
