665, The Number Of The Feast

"Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six." - Revelation 13:18

So, we're at DQ the other day celebrating Zach's graduation from elementary school with a big giant Midnight Truffle Blizzard for him (we usually make him get a small) and a more modest vanilla cone for me, when we inadvertently stepped right into the middle of a demonic situation.

Now, I've heard of superstitious people before, in fact I'm often surrounded by them in one capacity or another. People who change the course of their lives to avoid some situation or symbol that has been pre-determined to be "bad". People who have "signs" and care about the location of Mars at any given moment. You know. But I've never seen someone go to this embarrassing extreme to avoid a bad omen.

Our bill came to $6.66, which, when stripped of units and punctuation, is 666. This is the famed "Number of the Beast", a very bad omen supposedly...unless you are an 80's metal band or a low-budget horror film director, in which case it's pure gold.

The girl behind the counter looked at the register display with a kind of tense trepidation for a second and then pressed a button and apologetically removed a penny from my bill in order to avoid this most wicked of coincidences. I gave her a very incredulous look and rolled my eyes. At last she felt like she had to say something:

"Well, I don't REALLY believe in that kind of stuff, but I had to change it, I can't charge you this total."

But I think her willingness to risk her job giving me a spontaneous discount means she really does believe in "that kind of stuff". Why else would she do it? Certainly not for my benefit.

It's people like this that I just don't get. I mean, really? I can imagine a thousand years ago when Europe was firmly in the grip of the Dark Ages and superstition ran rampant, when people had no idea what caused the plagues and disasters of their time, before the discovery of germs and gravity and tectonic plates, some people may have fallen for the presumption that a number can be unlucky or evil, but this is the 21st century! Have all the illuminating scientific discoveries of the last ten centuries done nothing to dispel these old ignorant superstitions? The sad answer is no, like the word "disaster" itself (which is Greek for "bad star"), it lingers on well into the modern world of cause and effect.

Still, I'll never turn down a free penny!

A New Window To The World

I am getting a new lens today! This one is an 85mm scalpel-sharp prime lens from Canon. It makes loads of luscious, creamy vanilla-ice-cream background blur courtesy of a big f/1.8 aperture with 8 blades. This will be one great portrait lens.

It's not the 70-200 "L Monster" I have had on my wish list for a few years now, but it will tide me over until I get a spare $1,700 to blow on big glass.

I Now Scream For Less Ice Cream?

I am not typically a conspiracy theorist, but there is something going on that has me worried and suspicious.

There was a time, not so long ago, that ice cream was sold by the half gallon. In fact, I'll bet most people still think it is.

But it's not.

Ok, a little math here...just a little. A half gallon is equal to 2 quarts. Take a look in your freezer and check the fine print on the side of your Double Fudge Peanut Butter Extreme Cookie Dough. It probably says 1.75 quarts. Not a half gallon.

Smaller!!!

But how did this happen? A great way to raise prices on something is to cut the size and keep the price the same. Food companies do it all the time. And if you do it slowly, and in stages with creative packaging, most people will not notice. This reminds me of the story of the frog and the boiling water.

Also, the average person nowadays is completely ignorant of measurement units, so switching from gallons to liters confuses them to the point of resignation, and both are now listed on the package.

We're all apparently "used to" the 1.75 quart "half gallon", because some brands have now shrunk on us again to 1.5 quarts! Will this never end? Will we be scooping ice cream with melon-ballers next year?

I predict that eventually gas pricing in the US will be switched over to liters to better hide price increases. Just wait, it's coming...

Movin' On Up

I dreamt last night that my family and I bought a multi-million dollar townhouse on Manhattan's Upper East Side. It had a fantastic view of the skyline and I think I saw Jerry Seinfeld walking down on the street with an ice cream cone. I tried getting a picture of him with my camera on the patio, but I fumbled it and it went over the edge, striking him on the head and killing him instantly.

I remember watching the ice cream cone slowly melt on the sidewalk as we waited for the police to arrive.

Ice Cream Parlor Tricks

(The family is sitting in the living room. I give Maddie a spoon of ice cream, which she eats fast)

Maddie: "Moooooore?"

Zach: "How come I'm the only one who has to say thank you? Maddie never says thank you!"

Maddie: "Thangoo!"

(Zach grimaces, trying to hide a big smile)