Friday, November 7, 2008

Tel-Med


There was (and still is apparently) a service in the 1970's whereby you could call a number and request one of a series of medical tapes be played to you right over the phone.

I don't know how we found out about it, but it became an obsession for several of us middle-schoolers. We would call for our favorites (Lupus, Gonorrhea, Freckles, etc.) over and over again.

One day we got the idea in our heads that we needed to find out what the subject for every tape they had was. Now, rather than asking the Tel-Med operator for a list, which would be too easy, we would just start at "Tape #1" and work our way up into the stratosphere.

I guess we were oblivious to the fact that there was only one woman on the other end of the phone, and we were her worst nightmare, ganging up on her, calling for hours at a time, listening to the first few seconds of "Tape #323" before hanging up and calling back for "Tape #324".

Sometime before we got the whole roster, this poor woman went nuts. She completely flipped out.

"Ahhhh! Aaargh!!! WHY?!?!!? WHY?!?!? ... Does your mother know you're calling here so much and that it's a costly toll call?"

Toll call? Oh shit!

I hung up abruptly and never called back.

I think the Tel-Med service is automated nowadays, being that the previous operator is now surely in a mental institution somewhere.

4 comments:

Dennis said...

I'm sure she's OK, because I'm certain her mother was able to console her and let her know that that was just the way some kids are.

Alisa said...

I think her condition is explained on tape #3,294,875,987.

Pamela Larkin said...

I know that woman. She sued the company for having a mental disorder from her job. She now lives in Dubai and wears a 3 million dollar bra.

Bri said...

i remember that clearly, for some reason compiling a list of the tapes was intoxicating.

Brian
back in the USSA