condensed down for immediate digestion:
- The Bride's family was from Zimbabwe. Almost nobody showed up to the
wedding, but the reception was packed.
- It was in an Antiochian Orthodox church, whatever that is. It's some
variety of Greek Orthodox. The basilica was beautiful but hot as heck. A
Baptist minister did the service, so go figure. He was late. But that
was ok because so were lots of other people.
- The Wedding was supposed to start at 4pm. There was another service
starting at 5pm. The groom arrived at 4:45. There was a mix-up at the
rental care place, or something.
- Once he arrived, I thought we were all set to go but then someone
reminded us that the bride wasn't there yet either. She showed up just
before 5 in jeans. They had to cut out most of the wedding program and
still rolled right over the 5pm service.
- They did not do a rehearsal at the church so I had no idea what the
rules were: could I use flash, where could I keep my gear, where could I
stand. I was completely blind.
- The only guy who seemed to be in charge at the church, a short bald
Arabic man, popped out of the paneling right next to me on the altar,
red faced and fuming. He grimaced at me and ran down the aisle to the
lobby and screamed at the wedding party because the service was so late.
This tongue-lashing lasted a full five minutes. When he was done I took
the opportunity to ask him about the rules. Turns out there weren't any
rules.
- Cultural note: Much like Mexico, I got the impression that the culture
of Zimbabwe doesn't place much significance on doing anything even
remotely on time. With all the delays there was never the slightest hint
of anyone other than that bald man being concerned in the least that the
show was late.
- One grandma started singing songs and clapping and making the Arabic
tongue oscillating noise during the ceremony, and all through reception.
- There were two competing videographers. Not sure why. I think they
accidentally hired an extra one. They were highly suspicious of one
another and constantly argued about which one of them was going to get
paid at the end of the night. I never did find out.
- One of the videographers planted himself on the alter with a heavy
tripod and didn't realize that he was occupying the space where the
wedding party would be standing. By the time they filed in around him it
was too late for him to move. He was trapped. So they effectively had
one extra groomsman, improperly dressed and driving a giant HD video
camera. He's in all my pictures.
- We did the family and bridal party pics at Heritage Park. It was 92
degrees and 95% humidity. And then it started raining. I couldn't
understand a thing anyone was saying because I don't speak Shona. I took
most of the pictures before I realized the woman I thought was the
bride's mother was just an aunt.
- The reception was filled with modern dance music from Zimbabwe. It was
beat-heavy and really cool. Not a single person, not even a 95 year-old
woman, was sitting down at their seat during the dancing - they were all
either dancing or standing in a big line that surrounded the dance
floor, clapping and singing along. Zimbabweans know how to party, and
then some.
- There were also two DJs, but they worked together. They had nearly
constant debilitating problems with the sound system. Loud feedback and
several non-working mics in a row made the toasts very surreal.
- The best man, who was filling in for someone else, and who looked
almost exactly like Ben Affleck, gave an excruciating five-minute
drunken toast that could have been written for a bad romantic comedy. He
talked about hookers, admitted that he had a thing for the bride, and
outed the groom as a die-hard Trekkie. In between it was all stammers,
nervous laughter devoid of humor, and heavy breathing into the mic.
Afterwards, dead silence.
- While I was shooting the wedding Heather texted me to say she had to
call poison control because Brooke ate half a tube of toothpaste.
- I got another text page that a friend of mine had a heart attack (he's
ok).
This was one for the ages.
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