The Sting

I posted a pic the other day of our very own hornet nest. Shortly after I took the picture I got my leather work gloves on, grabbed a plastic bag, and tore it off the garage. After the nest was wrapped up in several layers, the queen came back. She looked around for the nest, sure she must have just misplaced it. I didn't know what to do but I saw some kind of showdown coming, so I sprayed her with a potent weed killer. Not sure if it works on hornets, but she flew away looking drunk and never came back, as far as I know.

I got curious, as I have been known to do about just about everything, and looked our big scary friend up. Turns out she's a Bald-Faced Hornet queen. The way that species works is this: the fertilized queen is the only one who survives the winter. She then builds a paper nest (wood pulp and her saliva = paper) and lays eggs in it. When the eggs hatch the little workers get busy and build the nest into a whole colony. I think we found the nest before the little ones hatched.

Anyhow, this hornet is known for is its aggressive defense of its nest and its very painful sting, which it can inflict multiple times, unlike a bee.

How painful? Well, a scientist named Dr. Justin Schmidt who specializes in stinging insects has actually come up with a list of the painfulness of the stings of various insects, and ranked them. He's been stung by just about everything that can sting people. The ranking goes from 1 to 4, up with increasing pain. It's a subjective list of course, but generally accepted to be about right. It's called the Schmidt Pain Index.

Occupying the mild end is the "sweat bee", which is the bee most likely to sting you at a picnic. He gives that one a 1.0 and says, channeling Robert Parker:

"Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm"

The list goes up through Fire Ants (1.2) and our new neighbor the Bald-faced Hornet (2.0) which he says is

"like getting your hand mashed in a revolving door"

And then things get really serious. Near the top of the list is the Tarantula Hawk, a wasp that specializes in eating, you guessed it, tarantulas.

It is huge, and looks like a Chinook helicopter in flight. He describes the pain of the Tarantula Hawk sting as

"Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric"

and rates it 4.0. That sting made him lie down and scream, but he noted that the worst of it was over in 3-5 minutes.

And then there's #1: the Bullet Ant, or Paraponera. Native to South America, so named because his sting feels like being shot.

The locals call it Hormiga Veinticuatro or "24-hour ant", from the 24 hours of excruciating pain that follow a stinging. Yes, this bad boy inflicts the most painful sting in the insect world. Rated at simply "4.0+", Schmidt says it inflicts

"Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel."

He's been stung by them four times in his career. Another poor victim of the sting of Paraponera says the pain consists of

"Waves of burning, throbbing, all-consuming pain that continues unabated for 24 hours"

I guess a Bald-faced Hornet nest isn't that bad a neighbor after all.