Black Swan

So, we have this terrible DVD movie at home. No, not just terrible, it's pretty much the most dreadful combination of trite plot, bad animation, color-blind art direction, muffled recording, psychotic scripting, everything, right on down the line that I have ever seen. And I've seen my share. To top it all off, it's a 4:3 aspect movie that has been stretched (not cropped) to fit the widescreen. Stretched! Everything looks fat and distorted and that doesn't help much either.

 

I guess I shouldn't have expected this to be very good, as it's a direct-to-video Barbie version of Swan Lake. But still, it's SO cheesy and bad that I have to wonder how Mattel agreed to put it out. It's so grating and hideous that I cannot think of anything else when it's playing, even if I'm in another room.

 

Oh and it plays...the girls both love it.

 

We had sneakily hidden it away in our boxes of DVD cases in the basement and after hundreds of hours of intense psychotherapy I had quite frankly forgotten about it. But yesterday I got one of the boxes out and opened it and Madison spotted the DVD instantly, pounced on it, and cried for joy.  Into the player it went and I was forced to relive this god-awful piece of trash. This morning Brooke asked for it again, but I had to draw the line at watching this before noon. I need my breakfast to stay down for work.

 

Surely Tchaikovsky is rolling in his grave.

 

Something tells me this movie is going to have an "accident", very soon.