A Lazy Sunday Morning

Weather Or Not

Q: "What follows two days of rain in Michigan?"















A: "Monday!"

My Uninvited Guest

So, I have this thing on me called an Actinic Keratosis. It's a pre-cancerous thingy with a bad attitude.

I hate having uninvited foreign stuff on my body. Kinda creepy. My doctor tells me I did invite it though, and just don't remember. It comes from never wearing sunscreen and failing to have enough recent African ancestry. So, half my fault, half great-great-grandpa's fault.

It's like a bad party guest who shows up suddenly, slurps down all the Jell-O shots, and crashes on your living room floor in a pool of bright-green vomit.

Anyhow, I have to go in on Sept 11th and have it removed with a light saber, or some similar but less-exciting tool.

I'm going to make a mental note to stop inviting these things to my parties.

Hello Pollen

Well, I see allergy season is in full effect for me again. It always hits me sometime around late May, early June. And it hits me hard, like a big old nasty lead pipe. I get all the various flavors: sneezing, red runny eyes, terrible itchy mouth and ears. That's the worst part, the itching. It makes me want to take a big wire brush and scratch the roof of my mouth like I was trying to get burnt chicken kabob residue off the grill.

It makes me really tired too. And it's hard to breathe. I feel like a bull sea lion is up on my chest, relaxing in the sun. Reading a magazine. Drinking a Corona. Chatting up a cute cow.

Allergy meds make me even more tired, so I'm in the waiting-for-it-to-stop phase.

Moving to Antarctica is a serious possibility.