Washed Up

Joe Gillis: "You're Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big."

Norma Desmond: "I am big. It's the pictures that got small."


I have only known perfect vision. My whole life I've had 20/20 or better vision. I've never been to an eye doctor ever. I have very good color vision too, unlike most men.

So you can imagine how freaked out I am now...for the first time I feel like my vision is getting blurry. And I have to hold papers farther away from my eyes to read them! This to me is about like going blind. And the freaky thing is how fast it came on. Three months ago my vision was perfect, just like always. And then...POP! Overnight this blurriness came on. I think I may need glasses....EEEEK! I can't imagine that. I am used to waking up every morning and seeing perfectly. It's really hard to lose visual quality this late in life. I almost wish I would have always needed glasses so this wouldn't seem like such a tragedy. What's next? Will I need diapers next week?

Yes, I know, this happens when we humans "get old". And I had 45 years of perfect, not a single glitch, always-on, 24/7 pristine vision, so I shouldn't complain, right?

Still...my vision is my "thing". It's the one thing I've always had that was better than everyone else. We all need one thing we do well, right? And now I've lost it.

I feel like in Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. I'm all washed up, ocularly speaking.