Twitterature

The newest fad to spill forth from the digital age is called "Twitterature". The object of this new art form is to cleverly rewrite classic works of literature in 140 characters or less, as they would no-doubt have been written today since nobody writes anything longer than that anymore. At least not in public.

Here are the Twitter versions of a few of our old favorites. I think this could actually be a fun and challenging exercise, despite the grievous assault on our cherished classics.

Moby Dick: Bloke goes bonkers pursuing large white whale across oceans and ends up harpooned to its side. Moral: don't become a fisherman.

A Clockwork Orange: Group of teenagers adopt incomprehensible jargon, drink milk and discuss Beethoven before terrorizing the community. All society's fault.

Lord of The Flies: Dozen kids abandoned on desert island. Scene soon resembles 10-year-old's birthday party, but worse.

Oedipus the King: PARTY IN THEBES!!! Nobody cares I killed that old dude, plus this woman is all over me.

Hamlet: WTF is Polonius doing behind the curtain???

Macbeth: @LadyMac - There's nothing on your hands, you've washed them 100 times already!!

The Great Gatsby: Gatsby is so emo. Who cries about his girlfriend while eating breakfast…IN THE POOL?

The Metamorphosis: I seem to have transformed into a large bug. Has this ever happened to any of you? No solution on WebMD.