Snippets

I make lists. Lists of all kinds of things, not just groceries.

One of my lists is "Funniest things I've overheard", which is a collection of conversation snippets I was fortunate enough to eavesdrop on over the years.

Let's just open up this list and read a few of my favorites. As always, interpretation is up to you.


"...so the cops show up, and by this time he's shimmied all the way up to..."


"Do the twins miss each other?"


"Boy, did they look sexy shoving those Madagascar hissing cockroaches down their throats."


Dude 1: "My wife is really cool. She is so good to me."

Dude 2: "Dude, you ain't seen nothing. My wife gets up with me, makes me coffee, my clothes are laid out, washed, pressed, and ironed. She packs me a great lunch, and when I come home, my dinner is waiting for me."

Dude 1: "Ok, that's a different kind of cool."


One side of a phone call...imagine this one spoken with an Indian accent: "Don't smack him anymore. I am going to smack him left and right. I am so very angry with him, please tell him that. But don't smack him anymore. I will smack him left and right, so very soon."


"I know Tom went with that other guy, what's his name..."

"Yeah, yeah, that big fat guy..."

"No, the short guy."


"Wait a minute, Marty Lafayette is in Bay City? Marty Lafayette is also an idiot. Marty Lafayette is one of the dumbest people I have ever worked with."


"...and I've begun juggling with the monster, and..."