Wild Cars, Episode 2: Vitamin K

In our relentless drive to be super-cool, and just coming off the studliness of the Plymouth Horizon, we ordered one of the very first K-Cars, a shiny red 1981 Plymouth Reliant. As we were told by every car magazine, this was the car that would save Chrysler. This is what they spent all that loan money on. And it did save them...the first time. Chrysler has been saved a few times since then of course.

Our Reliant is pictured here, on the street behind our Charger 2.2, as it tends to look better as background scenery for cooler cars.

The first indication that we had a brand new car in its first week or two in production made by a company circling the drain was the missing emblems. Not sure what happened there, but my guess is:

Chrysler Manufacturing Engineer: "Sir, we're all set to start production on this car that will save our company but the dang plastic emblems haven't come in yet!"

Chrysler Manager: "Ship the damn things without them then you friggin' idiot! Nobody will notice."

And this car had worse issues. It was totally and completely uncool, to the point of actually oozing big drops of uncool onto the road. It was so square it made a brick look sleek and sexy by comparison. Even the trimmings of the high-end model we had couldn't hide it's anti-coolness. As they say, you can't polish a turd.

And it was severely, even dangerously underpowered. You did not want to pull out into heavy traffic in this car. I remember the first time I drove it I thought it was slow compared to the Horizon! I guess that was a blessing in disguise though, because it had really bad torque steer that would have been much worse had the engine produced any actual torque. In the winter, the airbox would often ice up and further reduce the power. I remember not being able to top 35 MPH once on the freeway. In Motown, that is a scary situation.

But it was good on gas, and my dad was all about that. And aside from all this bad news, it turned out to be a pretty reliable Reliant.

The one K-Car story that sticks in my mind is the time my father didn't realize that Brian was not yet in the car and drove over his foot. Brian was yelling and screaming and going on about it and my dad, a little embarrassed at having run his son over, just reminded us all that this was a pretty light car and that one corner couldn't have weighed much more than 7 or 8 hundred pounds. I'm sure that made Brian's foot feel better, knowing that.