I am a picnic junky. I love them. And I don't picnic on tables. A proper picnic should be on the grass or a big comfy blanket. Nature is there, and must be communed with.
I hate plastic and food together. Ok, it's a thing about me that you probably already know. I love big heavy dishes. I'd rather have no dishes than plastic dishes. Same for forks, and serving dishes. You'll never see a Wild picnic adorned with giant plastic tubs of cole slaw.
Wine, of course, is mandatory. I don't care if the park rules say no alcohol. Those rules were made for teenagers, as most rules are. Anyone who has ever strolled across a park in Paris knows what I mean, wine and picnics are like peas and carrots. Or, maybe even super and sonic.
What very few of you know is that I have created the perfect picnic. Yes, don't waste any more time on that one, because it's already done. Only thing is, I haven't actually carried it out yet.
I can email you the full plans if you want. Only one other person has seen them. But basically it's:
- Large expanse of grass, big trees, rolling hills.
- Wonderful picnic food: chevre-stuffed grape leaves in olive oil, lentil salad with mustard and capers, grilled chicken and roasted pepper sandwiches on big crusty bread.
- Wine: my favorite for picnics is a white burgundy or some other chardonnay that has very little oak. Or a crispy sauvignon blanc from New Zealand.
- Your favorite book.
- Time. Because you can't relax if you need to get somewhere soon. Take the whole lazy afternoon.
- Big fuzzy clouds. You can imagine them to be pirate ships or dragons. But not TPS forms or cell phones.
- Big fuzzy blanket.
Important things not to forget:
1) Family, friends, lovers...someone to share it with.
That's all. Without that, picnics suck like big hairy plungers.
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