Aortic Insanity

I was a chaperone-slash-helper at Zach's class Valentine's Day party last week. It was pretty tame as Valentine's Day parties go, with no strippers and no alcohol. But I guess that sort of fits as they are in the third grade. I guess that kind of over-the-top stuff begins in middle school nowadays.

They did have a kissing booth though. Not actual, sloppy wet kissy kisses of course, but those of the chocolate variety. The premise was that the kids would go up to this booth and answer questions for chocolate kisses. The announcement was made by the teacher something like this:

Teacher: "And today we have a kissing booth!"

Whole Class: "EEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!"

Teacher: "CHOCOLATE kisses"

Whole Class: "YUUUUUMMMMM!!!!!!!"

Teacher: "But you have to answer science questions to get the chocolate"

Whole Class: "BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

And thusly it was explained to their complete satisfaction, and mine too.

About halfway through the party, as I was carrying out my duty to try and get the kids to stop sniffing the fruit-scented magic markers (why do they make those, can you think of a dumber idea?), a little girl came up to me and asked me...

"Hey mister Zach's Dad, what is the biggest artery in the heart?"

I somehow managed to immediately realize that she had been posed this gem at the kissing booth and was coming to me for help. So I said...

"The Aorta, I think"

Little Girl: "The WHAT??!?! Laaaayorba?

"Aorta. Aaaaa Oooor Taaaa"

At which point this little girl shot me the same look that you would give to an insane asylum escapee who just ran up to you with the white "Sunnyvale" jumpsuit on and said "You fan the flames of blue cars but trip on the wire gently". So her next line was not unexpected...

"Thanks...I'm going to go ask another adult though. But thanks anyhow."

Ok, so now I am overwhelmed by a curiosity to know what this other, much smarter adult will tell this girl that I couldn't, so I casually follow behind her, listening.

She walked right up to the teacher and asked her the same question...

Teacher: "Um....I don't know."

So she never ended up with the chocolate prize on this one, apparently that crazy word I had uttered to her was far too embarrassing to try out as a real answer. As a side note, yes the answer is aorta. In fact, it's the biggest artery in the whole body, not just the heart.

I can often find irony where it doesn't live, but isn't it a little bit ironic that a question about the heart would trip this poor girl up on valentine's day?