El Chupacabra, The Goatsucker

Does Halloween scare you? Are you superstitious? Did you ever watch a show like "In Search Of" and think the "arguments" were convincing? Do you think there are ghosts out there, angry and unresolved spirits seeking revenge on the living? You're not alone if you do, I just read that a good percentage of Americans believe in ghosts, in one form or another. And then there are the even more ridiculous stories of The Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and of course, my personal favorite, El Chupacabra, The Goatsucker. You'd have to be pretty drunk to accept these stories based on the "evidence" provided.

And that's the thing: there is no compelling evidence, and compelling evidence is what gets my attention, not folk tales and hyperactive imaginations. As Carl Sagan was fond of saying, "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence". Aside from a few naive grade-school creepy stories, thoughts of the living dead never scared me. The reason is that I truly do not believe them and cannot, even during a movie, make myself do so. The whole idea is so preposterous, so completely impractical to me that I'd be more inclined to accept a claim that my dog Jake is spying on me for a foreign government.

I hear this quite often: "Many things happen that cannot be explained". My standard reply is: "Yes, lots of things happen that have not been explained, but that doesn't mean you just get to make up any story you like to explain it". There are all kinds of reasons we think we see strange things and hear strange noises and suddenly feel cold. And it is highly unlikely that any of those reasons has to do with deceased humans or tortured souls.

We interpret this world through our senses and our senses lie to us on a regular basis. Reality comes to us filtered through very imperfect instruments. So wired are we for pattern recognition, especially facial patterns, that we construct faces from the most poorly aligned blobs of contrast. And don't forget that when we are excited or scared, our brains are flooded with dopamines that increase the brain power allotted to these imperfect senses, so inputs become amplified. We must admit to ourselves that we are not very good scientific recording instruments.

Incidentally, take a look at this "ghost" picture I took. See that green light near the center left of the picture? Is that a ghost? Could be, right? It did not appear to any of us "witnesses" in person, it only showed up when I looked at the picture on the camera. Hmm. Could it be lens flare from the fire? No, that explanation is too simple and...well...too boring. It must be a ghost, Yes, a ghost...a lost soul, long dead, is roaming the halls of the monastery, searching for a resolution to his ancient torment. And he chose to show up only on camera, and in the form of lens flare, because...well, we don't know why, but I'm sure that's what it is. Right?

Riiiiight.

So I don't worry about all that stuff. Besides, there are so many real things going on in the world that scare me, I don't have the time...

Compaq With A Heart Attack

My PC deep-sixed last night, I think this is finally the end for the poor thing. There are hardware problems that cannot be solved without major surgery, and we have an HMO. I am going to miss that ol' blue screen. Not.

My Favorite Vegetable: Candy Corn

You need to go make yourself something like this to celebrate fall. I'll wait.

Dreamy, Dreaming

Little & Big

How can someone so small make me smile so big?

Grave Rubbings

Zach's field trip was interesting, learning about the rich Quaker history of our city as we froze our buns off at a rainy cemetery watching a crazy guy who thinks he's Sherlock Holmes do grave rubbings with tin foil. Sure beats a day at work :)

Crazy Hair Day

Zach sported a sort of dorsal-fin mohawk for Crazy Hair Day at school this year, created by Heather wielding a large tube of hair mousse.

Phoenicopterus Butt-Wooperus

We witnessed the Chilean Flamingo equivalent of a taproom brawl this weekend at the zoo. I don't know who started it, but that big scary one in the middle finished it. A few pampered feathers were ruffled (groan), and feelings were hurt, but the entertainment value did not go unappreciated by us zoo-goers.

Domestic Tranquility & iPhones

I think you'll agree I made a good choice last week. If you recall, on my first anniversary in October 2006, my brother had an extra ticket to go to game 2 of the World Series and my new wife was kind enough to let me go...once in a lifetime experience and all that. Well, the very same brother asked me to go to Van Halen in a suite at the Palace. I really wanted to go, but wouldn't you know it, it was on my second anniversary. Needless to say, I declined the concert. Instead I had a wonderful anniversary with my "two year old wife". :) Here she is at the Apple store in Somerset.

Dirt Nappy

Heather gave the dogs a bath the other day. That is an understatement of course, the word "bath" doesn't do justice to how dirty they were. This was a purging of mud, dirt, bugs, dried food, saliva, and grass the likes of which have seldom been seen this side of a car wash. They look squeaky-clean now, fur shiny and about a pound lighter, each. And the smell is much more subdued. Coco's collar even got a washing. And that nasty thing that has been hanging from the fur on her right ear for a few months now was cut off and unceremoniously thrown in the trash without an autopsy.

Ahh, life is good with dogs...

The Wheels On The Bus

I am volunteering as a "Parent Helper" on Zach's field trip tomorrow. It's a bus tour of the historic sites in the city. I remember doing this once before when his class visited a farm a few years ago. It was a chaotic noisy affair with baby pigs and milking cows that somehow morphed into a painful toothache and ended up at Zach's dentist with an extraction. I am hoping for less drama this time. As this trip mostly takes place inside a school bus, I am not holding out much hope for a quiet day.

Two of Two Hundred And Two

Heather, I'd like to take a moment here to wish you a very happy 2nd anniversary!!! These last two years have been the best two of my life. And I can't wait for the next two (hundred)

:)

Love ya Heatherbaby.

October 14th, Revisited

My lovely wife had a birthday on the 14th of October, and I am just now getting the post up. I'm sorry. I really wanted to put up a favorite recent pic, but with the drive situation...I know, excuses.

Well, Heatherbaby, I love you and for the moment I am going to pretend your birthday is the 18th of October :) I'm still in trouble?

Did I mention that I don't watch endless hours of sports like other husbands?

I can cook too, really yummy stuff.

Please remember that and forgive me for being late on your birthday post, for no good excuse.

:)

Happy Birthday Baby!!!! I love you!!!!

Floodgates

Pictures...I must have pictures. I cannot live without them. My CF cards are backing up like an old man's colon after a cheese-eating contest. Hard drives stuffed full, not enough room for my beloved pictures to breathe. Very stuffy in there. Need more air...more room...more prunes...more drives.

I think I am going to order a terabyte of new storage this week. That way, when Leopard is released (on the 26th, I hope), I'll be all ready to hit the ground running.

Then, look out, as the floodgates of digital data open and you are assaulted by a huge backlog of a life well-lived, caught on silicon.

10.5, Build 9A581

The next chronological cat is coming. Soon. Leopard. Us Mac-geeks get very excited about these things, so please just humor me. The fifth major update to the glorious Mac OS X that I spend so much time with. Sounds silly, but OS X is like a good friend to me. Windows was always like that guy you hang out with that you don't entirely trust or like and one day he disappears with your television and your cat.

If you use a Mac, you know how good it is. If you don't, you are probably wondering why I care so much. With so many other things to do, why will I be at the Apple store at 6:00 PM on the 26th? Can't explain it. It's almost like a cult, people like me, addicted to cool products that actually work and look gorgeous. They let me be free to create...whatever it is I create, without thinking too much about the interface details. Nothing kills creativity like a sudden blue-screen-of-death and hard reboot in the middle of an inspired idea.

And the software works so good it actually inspires me to be better. So we pay a little more money not to have to worry so much. How do you put a price on carefree?

Plummeting From the Sky, Helpless And On fire

We were on a 747 flight home from California a couple years ago when we hit some really bad turbulence. The kind that makes passengers uneasy. In the middle of this, Zach asked me, very calmly and loudly:

"Dad, are we going to crash?"

I can't be sure, but the cabin seemed to get awfully quiet for a time.

The Missing Pixels

Isn't this a beautiful camera? 21.1 Megapixel full-frame sensor, baby! I guess it should be cool, for a street price of $8,000 (body only).

In case, like me, you missed your coffee this morning and didn't make the connection from my previous post...I haven't been posting pictures lately because I can't, due to my storage fiasco. But not to worry, I'll figure it out soon. Maddie is growing fast and Zach has been playing flag football and Heather has a sexy new hair style and Coco and Jake have been rascals and...well...the world just needs to see it for themselves!

Walking Upright On The Savanna

I don't usually bitch about things on this blog, lighthearted as it is supposed to be. But today I can't help myself...

Have you ever noticed that most of the people parking in handicapped spots are not very handicapped? It seems like every year there are more and more reserved blue spots right near the door, and more and more people who don't really need them are parking there. Today as I walked across the parking lot on my way into the office I was almost run over by a woman driving an Explorer who ripped into one such spot at about 25 MPH and came screeching to a halt. Her handicapped permit dangled from the rearview mirror. The door flew open and she literally ran from the car to the door, almost knocking me over again. This woman was not in any way restricted or challenged (at least physically). How do such people get these permits? I think the rule should be "You know it when you see it". As a comedian once put it "In order to get a handicapped permit, you should be in such a state that people scream 'HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!' when they see you".

Ok. Back to our regularly scheduled blogging...

The Black Hole And The Blue Whale

I generate a tremendous amount of data in the course of a day. Between a large music collection and tens of thousands of photographs in the RAW format, I go through hard drives like sour cream & onion chips at a Superbowl party. And remember, since I backup religiously, everything is TIMES TWO.

On-computer storage is out for me, the built-in drive is too small and it's easier to back up data on big external drives. In order to keep track of all my hard drives I have taken to giving them names based on color. There is the internal laptop drive, Green Fairy. My pocket drive for photo shoots is called White Dwarf. The big externals are Blue Whale, Black Hole, and Orange Julius. One of the big advantages of the Mac...if I was on PC my drives would be called C:\, D:\, E:\, F:\, and G:\, and their designations would change every time I plugged them in.

Anyhow, the point of all this is that I have a major data crisis looming because Black Hole and Blue Whale have both eaten their fill. This is bad. It means I cannot take any more pictures until I get some new storage. TIMES TWO, of course. But I can't just stop taking pictures...there are too many cute mammals in my life. So the pictures are accumulating rapidly on my camera's CF cards. According to my best calculations, this whole mess is going to explode sometime around 6:23PM on Thursday, plus or minus 11 seconds.

Wish me luck.

Mopping The Floor With Coco

Coco loves to play. We have wooden floors, so she often ends up sliding 8 or 10 feet across the room on the slick wooden surface. Once I really let her go, almost like curling. As she soared towards the kitchen, going perhaps 5 feet per second, she passed her favorite bone and immediately snatched it up and started chewing on it, before she had even come to a stop. Coco always seems to add at least one "surprise and delight" feature to everything she does.

The Sound Of Green, Fading

Fall is coming. That fact is very apparent now. And I love the fall.

But winter, not so much. In fact, three years of living in Arizona taught me that I would not miss snow if I never saw it again. I like warm, and I need sun. Months of grey skies slowly erode my moods until about January I am ready to climb on a plane to "Anywhere Sunny".

Still, fall, for all it's bad promises of coming gloom, is a favorite time for me. Something about the slight chill in the air and the crunch of leaves and the wearing of jeans and the knowledge that this time of transition won't last for long makes it special. I feel more alive in the fall. It's almost as if I suck up all the dying green and use it for myself.

Observation Of An 8-Year Old Dollar Store Junkie

"Everything's Made In China, Dad"

Under Thunder

It's no secret that I love thunderstorms. I love the smell in the air, the look of the darkening sky, the rain, and the wind. And of course, the thunder. There is something in me that comes alive during a thunderstorm. I love to look out the window and see the off-color air and the tree branches bend and sway, as if they are terrified at the coming chaos.

We really don't have good thunderstorms in Michigan very often. It wasn't until I moved out of the Midwest that I discovered really good ones - the kind they get out west. I guess the flat plains really lets them build up and if you are close enough to the west coast to get the monsoon effects, the fun is amplified. I have seen powerful, beautiful storms in Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, California, and Oklahoma. The kind that you remember. Scary, and black. The kind that would make Jakers run for cover under the couch, shivering.

I have a recording of a thunderstorm on CD that I like to listen to when nature fails me. It was recorded at Big Sur, CA, and what a monster it was. I wish I could see that kind more often.

I like to picture our distant ancestors, huddled in a cave, watching out as the world tears itself to pieces, wondering what has befallen them and if it will ever end. It is not such a stretch to imagine them believing that they have angered something very powerful. God is unhappy with us. The Stone giants are playing catch. Monsters are coming. I think we fear these storms for obvious reasons, but we also respect them because they have the ability to scare us. And I can't wait to be scared again.

Functions In X

Did you know third graders are learning algebra now? I think the biggest thing I learned in third grade was how to shoot spit wads through a straw. Yes, yes...it wasn't until fifth grade that I learned how to make a bee stinger from a hair pin. Zach will be on to Eigenvectors by then.

House Call

My doctor is very old fashioned. A rotund, disheveled man, he enjoys sitting for long periods of time staring into space before he answers any question. While most doctors hardly stop long enough to give you the time of day, this man is actually hard to get rid of. He'll sit and talk (slowly) and stare for an hour if you let him. I think this is a result of the few number of patients he has.

His exam rooms are filled with old equipment, some pieces from the 50's, others, like the table, probably 100 years old. His "clinic" is wedged into a cramped office on the third floor of an old, half-deserted building. It's really depressing to go there, and you get the feeling that the time delay between scientific discovery in medicine and application at this office is at least 50 years. I would not be surprised in the least if he suggested that I be bled by leaches to help with a fever, or perhaps that a hole be drilled in my head to allow evil spirits to escape. Got a burn? Put some butter on it! This is what our health care system has come to.

He came over our house last night, unannounced. He stated that the house was too hot and if we wanted him to stay for a while we'd better get the air on. He then went into the bathroom and came out in his pajamas. Big, fluffy pajamas. He sat on the floor and asked me to help him add up his income for the day. I think it was seven patients. He made $113.57 after expenses. He scratched his head and stumbled out of the house, fell on the lawn and started snoring like a bear.

Ok, that last paragraph didn't really happen. I dreamed it last night. No more wine right before bed.

The Sands Of Time, Still Flowing

Happy Birthday to my oldest (no pun, I just mean I have known him longest) friend, Jay. I would tell you his age, but that would also give mine away. Since we met when we were two years old, I guess that means we have known each other for four decades now! (do the math yet?).

Four decades is a long time. You could do an impressive roll of the things that have changed in those years, the world is a very different place. Here's one for each year since 1967. My apologies to Billy Joel.

1967: The summer of love. Groovy.
1968: Tet Offensive, a major turning point in the Vietnam war.
1969: First humans to walk on the moon. Out there, man.
1970: Four students at Kent State University in Ohio slain by National Guardsmen at demonstration protesting incursion into Cambodia.
1971: Twenty-sixth Amendment to U.S. Constitution lowers voting age to 18. Doesn't matter though, because we are 6. My future wife is born!
1972: Five men are apprehended by police in attempt to bug Democratic National Committee headquarters in Washington, D.C. - start of the Watergate scandal.
1973: U.S. bombing of Cambodia ends, marking official halt to 12 years of combat activity in Southeast Asia. Some heavy shit going on!
1974: Patricia Hearst, 19-year-old daughter of publisher Randolph Hearst, kidnapped by Symbionese Liberation Army. Apparently she wasn't too bummed about it, we find out later.
1975: Apollo and Soyuz spacecraft take off for U.S.-Soviet link-up in space.
1976: United States bicentennial. Coincidentally, the same year the Supreme Court rules that death penalty is not inherently cruel or unusual and is a constitutionally acceptable form of punishment.
1977: Scientists identify previously unknown bacterium as cause of mysterious "legionnaire's disease".
1978: The new Pope, John Paul I, 65, dies unexpectedly after 34 days in office.
1979: Nuclear power plant accident at Three Mile Island, Pa., releases radiation.
1980: Eight U.S. servicemen are killed and five are injured as helicopter and cargo plane collide in abortive desert raid to rescue American hostages in Tehran.
1981: More than 110 die in collapse of aerial walkways in lobby of Hyatt Regency Hotel in Kansas City; 188 injured.
1982: Princess Grace, 52, dies of injuries when car plunges off mountain road. Too bad, she was HOT!
1983: South Korean Boeing 747 jetliner bound for Seoul apparently strays into Soviet airspace and is shot down by a Soviet SU-15 fighter after it had tracked the airliner for two hours; all 269 aboard are killed, including 61 Americans.
1984: Toxic gas leaks from Union Carbide plant in Bhopal, India, killing 2,000 and injuring 150,000.
1985: Supreme Court, 5–4, bars public school teachers from parochial schools.
1986: Space shuttle Challenger explodes after launch at Cape Canaveral, Fla., killing all seven aboard.
1987: Reagan says Iran-Contra arms policy went astray and accepts responsibility.
1988: U.S. Navy ship shoots down Iranian airliner in Persian Gulf, mistaking it for jet fighter; 290 killed.
1989: Thousands killed in Tiananmen Square as Chinese leaders take hard line toward demonstrators.
1990: South Africa frees Nelson Mandela, imprisoned 27 1/2 years.
1991: South African Parliament repeals apartheid laws.
1992: Police officers acquitted in Los Angeles beating of Rodney King; rioting erupts in South-Central Los Angeles.
1993: Federal agents besiege Texas Branch Davidian religious cult after six are killed in raid.
1994: Major league baseball players strike.
1995: Scores killed as terrorist's car bomb blows up block-long Oklahoma City federal building (April 19); Timothy McVeigh, 27, Army veteran, arrested as suspect.
1996: Bomb mars Summer Olympic games in Atlanta.
1997: Princess Diana, 36, killed with two others in Paris car crash.
1998: Clinton admits to affair with White House intern in televised address to nation.
1999: First nonstop balloon flight around world completed in 20 days by Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones.
2000: The world does not end because of the Millennium bug.
2001: Terrorists fly jetliners into the World Trade Center.
2002: Enron and telecommunications giant WorldCom find themselves at the center of a financial storm.
2003: A deadly new respiratory virus called SARS captures world attention.
2004: Photographs of American soldiers abusing prisoners at Baghdad's Abu Ghraib prison surfaced and sparked outrage throughout the world.
2005: Pope John Paul II died after a bout with the flu.
2006: Warren Buffett, the world's second richest man, announced that he would give away the bulk of his fortune—10 million Berkshire Hathaway shares, worth more than $30 billion—to charity.

My gosh. That's alot of water under the bridge of life. What do you think the next 40 will be like?

More Fun Than You Can Throw A Stick At

Today is a very exciting day for the scrodents. Did you forget? How could you? Yes, that's right. Today is Heartworm Pill Day!

Following some arcane pattern that little lupine brains can not desipher (once a month), a very special treat is produced from the cupboard and bestowed upon the very excited muscrats. It's chewey, firm, yet moist. And SO beefy! They only get one, but they want more....yes, they want more.

Ahhh, but only one juicy cube of delight is brought forth...for now. And so they wait, patiently eyeing the cupboard, until next time.

The Red Dragon

We primates are social animals. We need interaction with others in order to maintain our sanity. People who shun other people are often berated or feared. The old hermit, living at the edge of town. Most of us like the company of the majority of our friends and families, neighbors and co-workers.

But we never stop to think much about the groups of people we regularly hang out with...familiarity breeds complacency I guess. Think about the people you see in an average day. If you are American, you may be spending most of your time with people you work with during the day and maybe your small family in the evenings. You may occasionally see friends on weeknights or weekends. And a rotating roster of people at stores that you don't know. And once or twice a year you may come in contact with a larger group of family and friends to celebrate holidays. But for the most part, it's co-workers and your nuclear family. And if you don't work outside the home, you are exposed to very few people during the course of a day.

A cat might like that, but humans, like our canine buddies...we most decidedly don't. That's called isolation and mean people use it as a torture device for a reason.

Now think about how different your life would be if you lived somewhere else. England for example. Longstanding tradition has endowed the average Brit with a device that gives them a day containing far more interaction with others. That device is the neighborhood pub.

At just about every street corner there is a place where families gather in the evenings to be together. Pubs tend to serve a neighborhood, that is, you are there with people you know, not a bunch of strangers like you would find at a bar in the US. And the whole family is invited, from the smallest kids to the family dog. Leash optional.

Imagine how different your life would be if you had a whole new slew of acquaintances that you saw every day. Talking, catching up on gossip, eating together, laughing together. And since they are your neighbors, you would get, as a bonus, a huge support network of friends that all live close to you. This is a huge social structure that we simply don't have here. For us, even if we have a block party and invite all our neighbors, it is a rare event and the interactions are on a more formal level. You don't really get to know them.

Don't get all excited and try to open a neighborhood pub here, our zoning laws are very strict and regimented, and specifically designed NOT to allow things like this. Just as the American invention of the subdivision dictated that you must drive everywhere you need to go (your grocery store is at least a mile away, placed safely in a non-residential zone far from houses), it has also cut you off from a big and friendly bunch of people who would love to know you, and who happen to live on your block.