Everyone knows somebody who is either accident prone, drawn to misfortune, or possesses unusual back luck. Well, my brother knows their king. No, more like their Emperor. This guy doesn't just have back luck, he IS back luck. A whole raft of rabbits feet couldn't touch this guy. He has sustained more bizarre injuries, had more freak accidents, than any ten people you know. And yet, inexplicably, he lives on.
Here is a partial list of things that have happened to Kenny (not his real name). If you have any doubt that all these things could happen to a single person, you need only meet him. You would realize in an instant that all of this and more is true. Kenny...
- Was attacked by dogs, leaving his back badly scarred.
- Was run over by a truck.
- Lost his foot in a lawn mower accident (his drunk uncle was chasing him).
- Hit a telephone pole with his car.
- Lost his arm in a tractor accident.
- Lost a hand and some additional fingers in a motorcycle accident.
- Got in a second motorcycle accident, no limbs lost.
- Fractured his penis during sex, and had to be airlifted to a regional hospital.
- Fractured his shoulder in multiple places, and while he was at the hospital he saw his mother there. She had just come in injured after totaling Kenny's car.
- Endured his father-in-law being sentenced to nine years in prison for embezzling (not an injury per se but still part of his legend).
- Was shot in the leg by his brother while hunting rabbits, when one ran between them.
- Burned his parents kitchen down.
Alas, that is but a taste, there are many more. My brother was able to obtain this list from Kenny at great personal risk earlier this year when they went to a rough country bar to ride the mechanical bull.
Kenny fell off.
2 comments:
He fell off the mechanical bull because he doesn't have enough appendages to effectively hold on. I saw Kenny myself this year, at my familt reunion.
"The One and Only"
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