"Let Me Go Oooonnnn, Like A Marlin In The Sun"

I suppose in retrospect it really wasn't a great idea. But real, authentic fish tacos are one of my favorite things. So I had some. Yes, they were from a dreaded taco "stand" operation, a hundred miles from the ocean, which would be suspicious even in the eyes of native Mexicans. And yes, it was more than 100 degrees outside and not a refrigerator was in sight. Yes, late afternoon.

But they were MUY BUENO!

Deep inside the host, the organism(s) began to replicate. At first there were but few. The geometric nature of virus replication, however, meant that soon they would populate the host in vast numbers.

Marlin. Lightly breaded and fried to a golden brown. Topped with shredded cabbage and bathed in a wonderful spicy sauce. All robed in a handmade corn tortilla. Mexican Heaven.

The organism had reached the point at which it would soon overwhelm the immune system of the host, which was powerless against the onslaught.

It was hours before the noticeable discomfort started. Then came the usual digestive maladies, headache, vomiting, and the general feeling of being hit by a bus full of linebackers. Then it got really bad and didn't let up.

And I was two thousand miles from home.

Now that the organism had reached critical mass, it would affect every aspect of the hosts life processes.

It was almost three weeks before the most dangerous of the effects ceased. I was home by then, clinically dehydrated and contemplating the writing of my will. The remainder of the glitches took a few more weeks to expel from the corridors of woe. Whatever organism had hitched a ride in the cabbage of my fish tacos had done its job well. It had lived a long and fruitful life, spawning colonies and cities inside me, mass transit, and even I think a few all-inclusive resorts, complete with shuffle board slabs and snorkeling mask rentals.

Was it worth it? Almost two months of torture, fear, inconvenience, doctors visits, medicine, lost productivity and intimate vitreous embraces with my bathroom hardware? All for a freaking fish taco?

Of course it was worth it! But next time, hold the cabbage, por favor.